Day 62

Day 62. Haven't seen him for 4 days. Forgot what he looked like. Then saw this. Now I can't wait. Upside down question mark. Kidding! I think.

Day 61

Day 61. Sometimes I think his brain is really complicated. Lots goes on in it, most of it he doesn't express or share. He's not easy to read, he's not an open book. Possibly makes him soubd more mysterious and deep than is actual... ;)

Day 60

Day 60. He was telling me he was shaved by medical staff. In the chestal area. I had sympathy til I remembered my last brazilian wax.

I said nice things to boyfriend. He doesn't say nice things back so I told him he should. His response was "roses and lush green meadows." 

So I wrote him a poem using his words.

Roses are red
Meadows are green
I said that i liked you
But i realised youre mean

i've got a dare for you,
Try nice things instead.
Youre so often mean to me,
Sometimes a shithead

Not sure what it is
But something keeps me in place
Its gotta be you.
Something about you snitchface.

Day 59

Day 59. Boyfriend is a smart alec. RSVP's 'maybe' to my birthday dinner. Maybe. Maybe he will be dropped. That's what maybe. *Shaking my fist*

Day 58

Day 58. Spent all weekend with him. Dinner with friends, tattoo, Walking Dead, pictionary, taboo, family, meeting friends... ALL THE THINGS. Was lots of fun. Even the bit where we debated political issues. Even when we disagree and I get emotional and passionate, I love that he is intelligent and informed enough to HAVE that sort of discussion!

Day 57

Day 57. There are some conversations boys have that really leave you thinking 'wtf is wrong with these guys?!' A conversation during tattoo today about ice cream at the Grand Prix was one such conversation.

One moment he's singing anthrax, the next he's snoring. I kind of like his choice in lullaby.

Day 56

Day 56. Forgot. Again. 

Watching the walking dead with boyfriend is amusing. "you and your wrinkly headed ideas!" He shouts at rick. Lol.

Day 55

Day 55. Accidentally said he looked funny naked. I MEANT HIS MOWED FACE. Mowed. Shaved. Whatever. I meant his beardlessness I SWEAR. Not dropped. Yet.

Day 54

Day 54. We are taking RJ to the zoo tomorrow. I'm a bit concerned that the keepers will see his monkey tail facial hair and lock him up. Then the other monkeys will see one of their own and that will be that.

Day 53

Day 53. Our zombie obsession elevated today. We got tickets to zombiecon. Also zombie make up. and knee high stockings with blood on them. Those are for him, obvs.

Day 52

Day 52. Sometimes it's kinda nice not seeing him, coz having someone to miss is a bit fun on it's own. Also because no burping. If ever you meet bf, tell him to burp. It's like nothing from this world. He should be in a sideshow, I think.

Day 51

Day 51. Not a nice feeling waiting for bf to appear on the Cressy descent ride and him not appearing. Thank god he was the scraped knees guy not the air ambulance guy Also really kinda bummed I didn't see his moment of crash impact. 

Day 50

Day 50. I forgot.

Day 49

Day 49. Have made a serious error of judgement. Told him how annoying his smug face is. Of course now he's using it overtime. Sigh. I tried so hard not to let on for this very reason. Such disappointment in myself.

Day 48

Day 48. He spent an hour or so discussing Grand Theft Auto V. Then he licked my face. Possibly one of our best days so far.

Scene: We are watching an episode of Walking Dead. Darryl has a crossbow arrow through his side and is climbing up a cliff. 
Boyfriend: "I've been in a situation like that down the river here."
Me: "Really? Did you have an arrow through you?"
Boyfriend: "Well no..."
Me: "Were there walkers about?"
Boyfriend: "Well no....:
Me: "So you haven't been in a situation even REMOTELY close to that really have you?"
Boyfriend: "Shoosh." 

bahahahahaha!

Day 47

Day 47. We're pondering ZombieCon. Calling all zombie make up artists... Also, he reached over $600 in his Cycle Challenge raising money for cancer. SO proud!!!https://greatcyclechallenge.com.au/Riders/PaulMayo

Day 46

Day 46. Endured the school play. Me I meant not him. Cooked him lunch. He ate it so the poison should kick in in 5, 4, 3...

Going to go and read what Homeland the tv series is about. Maybe read an episode guide. Lol. This status will give boyfriend apoplexy.

Day 45

Day 45: Boyfriend looks like a monkey is on his head and its tail is around his face. It's somewhat alarming. I think I am going to start calling him Marcel. If you cannot make the connection about Marcel, I will be shaking my head in disappointment at you.

Update: Rocksmith? Fail. Skate? Fail. Sniper Elite? Fail. Smashy bashy racing car game whos name I forget? extremely vague potential. Next: Dead Island. I WILL FIND A GAME I DONT ENTIRELY SUCK AT IF IT KILLS ME.

Day 44

Day 44. The only person I know who could get drunk of a block of rum and raisin chocolate. Not really. But maybe. He's a cheap date 

Day 43

Day 43. He's being seen at Carlton footy club with me in swans gear. Probably enough for one day.

Day 42

Day 42. He has renamed me very aptly, thinky mcthinkerson. And then wouldn't save me a fruit mince pie. A standard day.

Day 41

Day 41 of having a boyfriend. When you meet boyfriend, as my friend Kim did today, ask him about Bunnings. He wants to tell you his views. HE WILL LOVE IT. Then ask him about people that wear flannel. Then ghosts. Probably in that order.

Day 40

Day 40 of having a boyfriend. Have conned him into coming to my 10 year olds school play next week. Not sure he knows what he's gotten himself into... Also, he likes me like a burger. His words. I think that was his way of expressing undying love. Pretty sure.

Day 39

Day 39 of having a boyfriend. Sometimes I wonder what he sees in me. Was a bit of a basket case today but he didn't even drop me. In fact, he was really kind about it. I gave him one free pass for a mastoid hollow press as thanks.

Day 38

Day 38 of having a boyfriend. Have discovered one must book ones boyfriends time in advance when ones boyfriend is quite active and much the social butterfly. Have locked in March 2014 though so there's that.

Did you know boyfriend is a master of jiu jitsu? He's going to teach one of my close friends and I some self defense moves. We will know how good or bad a teacher he is when we see how I can learn to respond to his mastoid hollowing.

Day 37

Day 37 of having a boyfriend. Awesome day with the manface today. He even composed me a song and serenaded me with it. Something along the lines of 'Kelly has to go homeeeee she has things to doooo she's lost her keyyyyys oh wait she's found themmm'. Clearly he's a creative genius.

He appears difficult to reach. Going to try smoke signals.

Did you know boyfriend is raising money for research into children's cancer? Recently a friend of mine has been sharing updates of a girl fighting a serious cancer battle. She's only 11. It's personalized and put a face to this for me and makes me proud of what Paul is doing. In addition it gives me hope that if we can find a cure through research for these cancers then surely others must follow? Please consider showing him your support with a donation. Every dollar helps, you needn't spend much. https://greatcyclechallenge.com.au/Riders/PaulMayo

What?! You don't share socks with your boyfriend???

Omg. Carlton V Sydney next week. He's Carlton. I'm Sydney. Break up imminent.

Day 36

Day 36 of having a boyfriend. 5 weeks today! Who'd have thunk it? Happy anniversary! WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DIDN'T BUY ME ANYTHING??

I wonder how boyfriend is doing tonight, he's off playing with the ghosties. My evening was spent with the dead also#ScrutinyAssistant #Election #NotTwitter

Day 35

Day 35 of having a boyfriend. My mastoid hollows recovered with the aid of moscato. Then we watched zombies, shot people (or tried to shoot, missed entirely, alerted them to our presence and threw the controller back at boyfriend like a big girl. Ahem). I sometimes get so distracted looking for irrelevant things that I forget that the just any moment is the very best thing at all.

Things my boyfriend does that I don't like: hurts my mastoid hollows.

Day 34

Day 34 of having a boyfriend. I must have frustrated him today slowly tootling along on my old bike, unfit as a sack of potatoes... But he was patient and nice about it. He didn't even drop me when I had a bit of a meltdown over feeling stupid for being slow but at the same time happy that I could ride that far when I never could have before. COMPLICATED FEMALE. The more time I spend with him, the more I like him. He's juan good bloke. Zing.

Day 33

Day 33 of having a boyfriend. I love that we can disagree on stuff and it doesn't become a slanging match, or cause for a shut out, or some other form of passive aggressive shite or in fact a full blown argument. I love that we can debate ideas and exchange points of view safely, without judgement and without narky carry on. A little concerned this may mean we are labelled adults, but suspect a myriad of other behaviours will exclude us from such a thing happening.


Just say, hypothetically, that you know someone who once bared his butt down the main street of Williamstown, and say this person had his hands full, and his pants started to fall lower than he intended, and say he asked his girlfriend (who was not at that time yet his girlfriend) for help and she, through her tears of laughter, doubled over with mirth, said no, and said person had to sideways crab walk to a ledge to put his stuff down and pull up his pants before he lost them altogether... say that happened - how funny would it be?! hypothetical of course. Wasn't boyfriend. No siree. *I still get tears and doubled over laughing at this story. Every.Single.Time - best day of my life. If it was real obvs...


Things boyfriend does I don't like: sleeps when I want to talk to him. So what if its 3am. HOW IS THAT UNREASONABLE???


Have discovered today that even though I miss him on days I don't see him, there is an invention called the telephony machine that makes a good plan B. 

Day 32

Day 32 of having a boyfriend. It's come to my attention if I hold on another week or so ill be ranked #3 in length of girlfriends. Better not drop him just yet then.

Day 31

Day 31 of having a boyfriend. Tomorrow I am planning to take him to Hanging Rock. I wonder if he will come back... Miraaaandaaaahhhhh! mwahahaha.

Things my boyfriend does that I'm not sure if I like or not: saves good stories for when he sees me in person.

Day 30

Day 30 of having a boyfriend. Trying to decide what my favourite thing about him is. There's lots to choose from. I mean you could say his looks, his brain, his humour, his musical and creative talent, his wit or his kindness. But I'm pretty sure it's really his fascination with dead people. Wait, what?!


Boyfriend has gotten me addicted to a new fb/phone game. First megapolis, now jurassic park builder. it's because most of the time when we are hanging out he every now and then will stop and shout "WAIT! I HAVE TO FEED MY DINOSAURS!!!" So now I will have to do the same. What?! Normal couple. Totally.

Day 29

Day 29 of having a boyfriend. He was so lovely to me today. Think I'm a bit smitten. Really bummed I had to skip bounce and come home early tonight, headed deep into migraine territory tho so was best thing to do. Hope he and Blake enjoy it 

Things I like about my boyfriend #3. He's a hand puppeteer. 

Day 28

Day 28 of having a boyfriend. Have decided not to rely on nice words or gestures for confirmation of his interest and feelings. I suspect he's mentally 12, and the fact that I was barely in the door before he tripped me and pinned me on the ground and various other wrestling type moves, means I think its safe to say he clearly wants to marry me tomorrow. Possibly tonight.

Things my boyfriend does that I like #2. Texts me from the next room and makes me giggle.

Day 27

Day 27 of having a boyfriend. What I am learning is that it's often how you handle a low or a conflict that can show you how important someone is to you. Took the boyfriend breakfast this morning, mostly just to get a hug. I think I won that deal.

Day 26

Day 26 of having a boyfriend. Pretty grateful to him (and to BFF Jessica D) for pushing me to get in there and write my assignment and not give up. It's now almost done. Thank you (both!) for having faith in me and not letting me off lightly. Law & Media Communication will not beat me now!

Day 25

Day 25 of having a boyfriend. He has come up with a political strategy so clever that he will soon be in charge of the world. And ill be riding on his coat-tails. Mwahaha!

Day 24

Day 24 of having a boyfriend. We rock at communication. Lucky, because between his sore shoulders and his bung knee I was considering a trade in on a different model. Think ill keep him a bit longer tho now. Probably.

Day 23

Day 23 of having a boyfriend. Need a teleporter. Also: tired.

Day 22

Day 22 of having a boyfriend. Dinner with his parents - his lovely mum went to a lot of worry to feed me vegan food. Such a gem. As for him... He gives me flutters. Not OMG I think I'm gonna throw up ones either. Good ones.

Day 21

Day 21 of having a boyfriend. Thanks Michelle for introducing me to your fake cousin 5 months ago. Today he said he was giving me a 'little bird.' He claims it was a typo but today I built an aviary and got food and such in preparation. Just kidding babe. Maybe.

Day 20

Day 20 of having a boyfriend. He met my kids. I think he liked them coz they call McDonald's nakey Donald's. I think they liked him coz he locked me in the back cargo part of my car  They both giggled at that for ages. Buggers.

Day 19

Day 19 of having a boyfriend. Sometimes I tell him stuff I feel dumb about and he makes me feel better. Sometimes I tell him dumb stuff and he agrees its dumb. All balances out in the end 

Day 18

Day 18 of having a boyfriend. Feel ill tonight. What do you mean I still have to cook dinner for my kids and bath them and get them to bed and I still don't get a cuddle at the end of it all? What kind of fuckery is this?!

Day 17

Day 17 of having a boyfriend. I miss him so much. Until I remember the window down mid nap and the wrestling I keep losing, and the snoring... and then I think 'well... maybe just a bit then.'

Day 16

Day 16 of having a boyfriend. Too many to choose from. Was it the Pepsi max spit? The crazy lady? Vertical bowling?? Oh I know. It was masterpiece.


Things my bf does that I do NOT like: puts down the window in the car when I'm asleep against it then laughs loudly.

Day 15

Day 15 of having a boyfriend: I hope the ghosts pick him this time. What an experience!!

Day 14

Day 14 of having a boyfriend: road trips are funny. Why take the beechworth exit to beechworth?!?! Crazy! Beep beep beep beep beep!!!


Things bf does that I like: when he's happy and driving he does this super fast horn beep. Makes me chuckle. 

Day 13

Day 13 of having a boyfriend. He gave me an ENTIRE BLOCK of chocolate. Not just half that he ate, a whole one! Winner winner! So gonna keep him now.

Day 12

Day 12 of having a boyfriend. I think I forget how to be a girlfriend. Do I just be normal plus add some duck lips every so often or what?

Day 11

Day 11 of having a boyfriend. Punctuality isn't his strongest point. Lucky he's cute.

Day 10

Day 10 of having a boyfriend. Left my chocolate at his place last night. Suspect it would look petty to ask for half a block back. Just discovered he ate it. Pondering dropping him.

Day 9

Day 9 of having a boyfriend. Best bit of today is hard to narrow down. Was it wandering the market and finding the best moscato ever? Was it all the wrestling? Or that he bought me dinner? Maybe that I fell asleep on his couch and desperately didn't want to leave. I think all of the above...

Day 8

Day 8 of having a boyfriend. Happy one week bf!! You know you've found a special one when they buy a freaking amazing present for your kid they haven't even met yet. Melt.

Day 7

Day 7 of having a boyfriend: just spent about 9 or 10 hours with him and had barely a conversation. In a good way. I just like being with him.

Day 6

Day 6 of having a boyfriend: Can be a bit scary sometimes huh? Still. Not dropped. Has to be something in that. Grateful that he was able to turn a cancelled date into more adventure time.

Day 5

Day 5 of having a boyfriend: He's talking me into a tough mudder style event. I will probably die. I suspect he'd enjoy having a ghostly girlfriend, though. So... silver lining?

Day 4

Day 4 of having a boyfriend: He spilt my coffee, not sure he realises how important coffee is and how wrong it is to mess with it. Haven't dropped him for it though. Actually, poor Scooby was feeling sick, but still came to see me. I like him. Kind of a lot.

Day 3

Day 3 of having a boyfriend. What do you mean I don't get to see him every day????

Day 2

Day 2 of having a boyfriend. Returned trackies and socks in a freshly laundered and timely manner. Managed to save a joke about his crazy post massage hair. Still not dropped.

Day 1

Day 1 of having a boyfriend: have stolen a pair of his trackies and socks. Not been dropped yet.